Friday, 27 July 2012

Simple man, simple pleasures.

A long one this post, get a cup of tea or glass of wine and settle down.

I am a simple man. Oh wow, what a dangerous feed line to present to the people that know me! They would be on this one faster than a peregrine falcon, with comments that would make my hair curl, (what is left of it that is). But that is exactly what I am. A simple man. Now, I hasten to add that this does not refer to my intellect, as I was a member of Mensa (until I got bored) and had an IQ of 137 just a few years ago.

What does that really mean? Absolutely nothing in my humble opinion. It just means that on the day that I took the test (feeling very ill at the time but I stubbornly would not wait another six months to take the next available exam), I answered certain questions and problems put to me within a time limit and achieved a certain score. I sought no sympathy for the aforementioned illness, nor any favour. I was given none. But I digress, dear reader.....

To reiterate, I am a simple man. Let me illustrate the previous statement. Yesterday, my wife and I had some precious time to spend together. It was some time since she had been on the beach, near the sea and she was missing it terribly. Aha, oh yes, Grandad has a spiffing idea!
I said that we would take a little picnic to a place that I thought she might enjoy. Having prepared the picnic, I drove only about fifteen minutes away from where we live to a lovely quiet beach. Yes, dear reader, I did check the tide table beforehand, I am not that senile yet! We parked, for free, yes for free! (Nowhere near Brighton, that pathetic excuse for a city, with a propensity for ripping off tourists and the occupants alike without mercy). Before you feel the need to stand up for Brighton, please be aware that I was born there, have lived within its confines most of my life, seen the awful deterioration and degeneration of once wonderful areas and venues (Look up the Astoria cinema) once a magnificent place to enjoy watching a film, just the experience of entering such a building was to be savoured as I did when my lovely mum, (now with God) took me there as a special treat. I escaped the lunacy that is now Brighton, some years ago, moving to a lovely suburb some miles from its centre with my wonderful wife when we were married, so I know what I am talking about. If you want to argue about it, do so amongst yourselves, I hate the damn place. But once again, I digress, I must apologise dear reader, I am growing old and ramble sometimes! Back to the point then.....

The beach. Oh yes, did I choose a fantastic place to visit? Of course, I did my homework chummy. So, we parked the car (for free), walked a few yards to the sea road, crossed safely and were on the beach.
Looking at the sea, which appeared to be a really long way away as the tide was at its lowest, (research here)  we took off our shoes and socks and put them in our rucksacks and walked across the sand into the shallow water which was now lapping at our feet. Oh, ecstasy, warm water on feet and ankles, we proceeded to walk towards a very distant pier, miles away. On our way, we stopped for a brief repast of crackers, cheese, (English and French),  home made elderberry chutney and a drink of cool orange juice. Oh yes, I know how to treat a lady!

Having re-fuelled so to speak, we wandered hand in hand towards the distant pier. I like holding my wife’s hand, I feel it is like touching souls, but then I am a bit of a tart sometimes. My lovely wife said that we have to touch the pier before we can turn around and go back to the car! I immediately agreed, (sad or what), but we both duly did as she dictated, turned around and walked back. Tired but happy, I drove us home, we prepared a lovely but simple meal together, this is a day that I will never forget and hope to repeat many times.

As I said, I am a simple man, I enjoy simple pleasures with simply the best woman I have ever met.

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